Secrets Unfold (K'ryn)

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah stood in the hall, awaiting K'ryn. She was nervous. Never before had she told anyone about her past. Even Ammon knew nothing about it. Kain knew only that she and her mother had never gotten along. And that was the most anyone knew about her relationship with her mother. But tonight would change that. Surth was helping her keep her cool, and she hoped that would be enough to help her get out what she needed to say. She liked K'ryn, more than she had liked someone in a while. And she didn't want that to get between what might be unfolding between she and him.

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn didn't know what to think, pacing his weyr nervously. A very tired Synth was watching him with some curiousity, though she was getting annoyed with his indecisciveness. As the man turned for yet another lap across her section of the darkened weyr, she stuck out her forearm, choosing to not alert him. He fell forward, tripping on her, and she snagged his jaxcket in her teeth and forcibly tugged him over to her and wraopped her forlegs around him like a cat with her prey.

Stop that. You are making me dizzy. She grumbled, though her snippy tone was countered by her affectionate nuzzling of K'ryn's chest. He laughed and rubbed her eyeridges just the way she liked.

"Sorry. I'm kinda feeling like a dragon berfore fall. All twitchy, you know?"
Yes. I can see that, beloved. Go talk to her. It will ease your mind. And get you out of here so I can get some sleep.
"So nice to see you care, Synth."
Hmph. It would not do to keep the lady waiting, you know. Shoo.
K'ryn threw his hands in the air and climbed over Synth's legs. "Shoo, she says. I just got shooed by my own dragon. Fine. See you later."

It wasn't much longer before he was standing outside the entrance to the main hall, hands in his pockets. So this was it, huh? Well, alright then...no point in delaying. Faizah needed to talk, so he'd listen. He'd already decided there was nothing in the world that would keep him from liking her, so he actually had something of a positive outlook. Well, provided she wasn't about to say she prefered women...that could get a little awkward. STILL. Enough dawdling.

"Faizah? Uh...good evening."

[FaizahPandora]

"Faizah. Uh... Good evening."

She gasped, her heart leaping into her throat. She turned to see K'ryn standing there. Suddenly she blushed, quite embarrassed to admit she hadn't heard his approach even in the silence of the hall. She really must have been caught in her thoughts.

She tried to give him a smile, but her nerves seemed fried and she could feel her hands trembling. That was not like her. She ALWAYS had steady hands. It was one thing that she was complimented on through the years.

Still Faizah offered the best she could. She approached him slowly, opening her arms as if she might hug him. She had every intention to, unless he avoided the contact. She was terribly afraid that after her freak out earlier he wouldn't want to touch her.

"K'ryn. Thank you for meeting me."

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn smiled, relieved that she wasn't shying away anymore. Some of his nervousness fell away, and he warmly smiled and embraced her.

"Of course." He said, smiling like he wasn't absolutely still terrified by what she might say. "I'd never turn down a request from the Weyrwoman, and I'd NEVER turn down a request from you. And yes, before you ask, there's a difference. You're far more important to respond to than your rank." He snapped his mouth shut, trying to rewind and figure out exactly what he'd just said. "Er."

He settled for moving back slightly, keeping what he hoped was a 'safe' distance between them, though he kept a hand by the small of her back, just lightly, in case.

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah couldnt help but smile. A true smile that lit up her eyes. But then she remembered why they were meeting. And just as suddenly she was extremely nervous again. Her stomach was in knots and she found her throat closed. Curse her luck but this always happened when she wanted to tell about her past. With a barely concealed trembling sigh Faizah looked up at K'ryn. "So how curious are you about my incident?" she tried to make it seem light hearted.

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn gently steered her towards one of the long benches; she was trembling, and despite the fact that he was thrilled beyond words that she had been glad to see him, he wasn't an idiot. He could tell something was weighing heavily on her.

"Well, I am pretty curious, yes. But take your time. I've got all night, and I can't think of anything I'd rather do than be with you." Shards; no, k'ryn, he scolded himself. Now was not the time to say something silly like that.
"So...you ready?"

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah nodded as she sat down on the edge of the bench. Without even realizing it she began wringing her hands nervously. She kept her attention on K'ryn though. Se sighed once more before taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment. "Since before i can remember my mother and i have been two forces opposing each other. She is fire and I am water, to form an example. My father never wanted anything to do with me, so truthfully i raised myself because i never had an actual parent around." Faizah paused for a moment to take another deep breath. She looked down at her lap before back up at K'ryn. "My life was a whirlwind of my mothers many lovers, most of which lasted only a few hours. Broken promises, new men every night, new houses that were supposed to be home until we moved in with the next lover. And when I was eight years old everything went from tolerable to terrible..." She stopped again, searching K'ryns face for a sign of whether she should continue or not. her lower lip was bitten between her teeth and her hands were squeezing each other so tightly her nail beds and fingertips were white.

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn's heart was nearly breaking. The woman was practically faling apart she was so nervous, and it was everything he could do to not go send Synth off to put a little fear of her into any of these people she mentioned.

"Changed..." He murmured, worried by the change in her tone as she spoke. "It hardly sounded good before. What happened?" He sat beside her, waiting patiently. It would be not wise to push the topic, but he knew it was important. "You can tell me." He said, gently putting one hand over hers.

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah calmed a little as she felt his hand on hers. It somehow gave her the strength to continue. "It was a normal saturday. My mother and her lover were sleeping in and I had just finished making lunch for Lakeen and Nakia. I had gone upstairs to get something, Im not quite sure now what I had been looking for."

Faizah took a deep breath, trying to collect what little she recalled of that day. She was beginning to get a headache and she hoped it wouldnt develope into a migraine. "My mothers lover was standing in the hallway when I came out of my room. I dont know what provoked him, but he began yelling and screaming at me. I had been backing away from him, trying to find an escape route that didnt involve getting close to him. He reeked of alchohol and drugs. Just when I made a dash to try and escape to the side, he swung his arm out and I got hit on the head." She stopped again. She could remember the next few moments with perfect clarity, but was a little nauseous.

"I was thrown to the side, over the stair railing and then down the stairs. When I reached the bottom my head hit the wall and I blacked out. I woke up in the hospital, the infirmiry, the next day. I was told that I had suffered a severe concussion from the fall."

Faizah stopped, glancing at K'ryn. She was biting her lip again, but otherwise she appeared calm.

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn stayed silent as best he could, but the slightest hint of a snarl crept into his voice when he finally spoke.
"...what happened then?" He said, trying to keep his voice level. "Please, damn, at least tell me she left him. Tell me she was sorry."

He shook his head then. It was hardly his right to question, but how could someone do something like that? Was it so hard to keep yourself in a state of non-inebriation? He'd heard of some of the stupid things that happened when people drank too much at gathers, but this was ridiculous.

"Faizah..."

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah gave a small laugh, a slight smirk on her face. "Right. My mother feel sorry for me. Thats funny."

Faizah shook her head before continueing. "She did leave him once he stopped pampering her with expensive clothes and vodka. After that guy she got a job, stopped drinking; she seemed to be trying to straighten her life out. We found out she was pregnant." Faizah laughed slightly. "She almost seemed to be our mother again. Then Mentari was born, and everything went back to the way it had been. But we had all begun to change."

Faizah flexed the fingers of her left hand where a small, thin, white scar lay. "I had begun playing the violin, joined the school orchestra. I had an opening to get out of the whole that had sucked down my entire family. I could go to college and become a musician or doctor.

"Lakeen began cheerleading and gymnastics. She wanted to become a gymnastic medalist, then a teacher. Nakia had friends. She was becoming a normal girl her age. None of us wanted to go back to that life.

"My mother dumped Mentari on me. I rebeled. She slammed my hand in the car door. It broke four bones in my hand." Faizah took a trembling breath. "It trashed my chances of being a violinist; ruined my chance of a better life."

Faizahs expression hardened. "I swore that I wouldnt become like her."

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn listened quietly as she spoke, knowing there was little he could say. The way Faizah spoke of her past seemed...confusing. He could tell, very easily, that she loved her sisters, but something deeper bothered her here.

He smiled as he thought fondly of Mentari-the girl amused him, but he supposed he could understand the way an elder sister might feel when saddled with that sort of responsibility. But when she got to the part about losing he future, losing her chance at getting free, his expression darkened again.

"She...sabotaged your chance to be a harper?" He shook his head, disbeleiving. If someone had ever tried that on Pern...well, shards, the entire Harper hall would come after them. But...people were cold everywhere. He thought of a number of people he'd known who he'd half-thught would be better off being hold drudges than the high positions they had. So it was no different here...

"You aren't like her. You can't be. If you were..." he fumbled for words, normally something that came easily to him. "If you were, you wouldn't be here. Surth wouldn't have chosen someone who would cause others pain like that. You wouldn't be the Weyrwoman, and your sisters wouldn't be here." He siged, and very carefully took her hand, forcing it open and running one finger across the scar.
"You are one of the most impressive women I know. Don't sell yourself short."

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah gave a shaky smile. She knew everything he had just said was true, but she didn't believe them. How could she when she watched herself so carefully? Everything she did, she watched herself so closely.

Sure, she couldn't cause someone pain or harm. Not even if she tried. But she would be damned if she became as promiscuous as her mother, or Nakia. Good God, but that child was as bad as their mother.

When she had stood before Ramoth years ago she had feared of Impressing a green. She had been ecstatic when she saw her beloved Surth look at her with rainbow whirling eyes. A dragon to share her life with, and one that would never rise or chase.

"I'm afraid of becoming like her. Not her need to inflict pain, but her need for a different man every night. I'm afraid of being close to a man encase my body should respond like my mother's. This may sound stupid, but earlier today was the first time I've ever acted that way..."

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn actually had to stifle a laugh. He immediately covered it with a shocked look, then apologized profusely before he continued.

"You know..." he said after a moment. "You almost make it sound like something horrible." He shook his head then, and put up a hand in an attempt to stop any possible response. "No, I understand, I do. If it were something you couldn't control, something less like a choice of your own and more like a need, a craving...I can understand." He glanced down at the floor, thinking for a moment. "You don't like the thought, I guess. But...does it bother you, then to be with one who could easily understand how it does feel? I'm a greenrider...while it isn't the same, you've met Synth, and you know how she can be."

Distantly, he felt the sleek green stir in her sleep, and he calmed himself before he woke her. He understood how she felt, to a degree, and he knew where her hesitations came in. He'd often wondered similar things, and he knew the first time you experienced something like that (flightlust nonwithstanding) it could be terrifying.

He looked away, and seemed slightly uncomfortable as he processed her words. If this was the first time she had ever reacted like that, was he pushing her, then? He in no way wanted to do anything of the sort, and he was terrified of the thought of her being so afraid.
"I can understand you feel. But...the decision lies wholly with you. I want you to kinow I would never, not in thousands of turns, want you to do something you didn't feel was right for you, Faizah."

He smiled at her, trying to sound more sure of himself than he was. "It isn't at all stupid though. You truly think there is anyone who feels absolutely certain of themselves all the time? It's natural. " He hesitated, and ran a hand soothingly along her arm. "But in the end, it's up to you."

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah bit her tongue to keep from blurting something out. He didn't fully understand, and it was her fault. She hadn't been clear enough. She had stumbled over her words. Faizah turned to face the wall, her face veiled by shadows and her hair.

How to explain that sometimes it wasn't choice? How could she explain that a person's promiscuity was no more their choice than the color of their eyes at birth. Tears came to her eyes at her own frustration.

The motion of him rubbing her arm was strange; intimate, but comforting. When had she ever been comforted by another person touching her. Not at anytime that she could remember. But it was comforting, and that more than anything confused her.

It was strange and new to her. It scared her to an extent. Not him; never K'ryn. But her reaction to it. Was he pushing her? No. Faizah was pushing herself. She wanted to know, finally, what it was like to be intimate with a person.

A tea rolled down her cheeck. Using her free hand she wiped it away.

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn frowned, getting the sinking feeling he was missing something. Damn.

"I'm...sorry." He said hesitantly. "I- did I jump to conclusions? Please, don't cry..." It near broke his heart to see her so upset. And it wasn't as if she was just hurt by something small. No, this was something she'd been struggling with for a long time. He would be wise to...well, not say something else stupid.

So he settled for just staying by her side, quiet. Well...for as long as he could manage.
"Are you...?" He couldn't finish the question. Of course she wasn't okay- the tear she wiped away was evidence enough of that.

But he didn't know what else to do.

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah mentally smacked herself as she heard K'ryn fumbling over his own words. She turned to him and nodded. "I'm okay. Just frustrated with myself."

She gave him a small smile, giving his hand in hers a slight squeeze of reassurance. If things continued between them, there would be more than enough time to further explain.

Faizah leaned over and gently kissed his cheek.

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn smiled when she did that. Alright, so maybe he was terrible with words, but she didn't seem to mind.

Maybe they'd be okay after all. Well, no matter what, he wasn't going to let something stupid like failure get in his way. He squeezed her hand back and grinned at her, trying his best to not seem like a completely trilled kid and failing quite miserably.

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah smiled back at him. He was grinning childishly, but it looked cute on him. She almost laughed, he looked so comical.

"So, do you want a soda?" Faizah asked as she got up to get herself one. She was parched.

((Fail...))

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn tilted his head to one side, and seemed to think very hard about this.

"The fizzy bubbly stuff? Mmm. Yes. That one that's all clear and tastes kind of sparkly..." He grinned again at her, glad she seemed to be able to smile again.

((No, faizah, do pardon MY extreme fail.))

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah giggled. "That would be sprite." Faizah said as she grabbed two glasses and poured their respective sodas. Sprite for him and pepsi for her. She set the drinks on the table before turning and retrieving a box of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. "Have you ever had cookies?" she asked curiously.

[yaoiwafflez]

K'ryn examined the soda with some interest and shrugged. "Call it what you like, it's still delicious." when she rose again, he followed her with his eyes, growing ever more curious as she picked up a green box.

"Cookies? Not sure. What are they? Anything like bubbly pies?"

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah smiled. "Not really. More like a gooey, sweet bread. Well, some are gooey. Thin mints aren't, but they are delicious. As for being like bubbly pies, not really. If you manage to et me the recipe I'm sure we can make bubbly pies, though."

Faizah sat down, opening the cookie box. She set three in front of K'ryn and herself, then took a sip of her pepsi. She revealed in the feeling of the cool drink hitting her overly warm stomach. At least that's what it felt like. Without preamble faizah picked up one of her cookies and slowly began nibbling on it.

((Again, fail... Sorry.))

[yaoiwafflez]

"Sweet...huh. I'm always okay with that, I guess." He watched Faizah eat, and couldn't resist a tiny smile when she nibbled the 'cookie' so delicately. It was...cute.

Still smirking the tiniest bit, he examined one of the ones she'd put in front of him. Thins, smelled alright...and it was delicious. Minty, sweet, cool, and crispy. He let out a bemused laugh and looked back to Faizah with a stupid grin spreading across his face.

"Well shards. I don't think even my mother's bubbly pies were ever this good."

[FaizahPandora]

Faizah laughed. "I've always been a fan of Thin Mints. But there are many more flavors if you would like to try them. I would not suggest the fudge brownies though." Faizah explained.

She finished her first cookie and sipped more of her soda. She checked on Surth, who was sleeping soundly in their weyr. Then on Reyna, who was spending her night with Nakia's crew of flitters. Faizah loved her sister, but her need to best everyone was a bit much. She was surprised the gold had left her alone for so long.

Faizah turned her attention back to K'ryn. "So tell me a bit more about you and Synth before you came to Rocky." She asked politely, but with obvious and keen interest.